YOU MIGHT BE FROM THE REZ IF:
You eat mutton stew and fry bread for breakfast.
The only credit card you have is the Ellis Tanner's Bekis card.
You drink coffee and chew Skoal at the same time.
You point with your lips.
You believe the Fenders II tour was the greatest thing that ever happened.
You were once rudely awaken in the middle of the night by a lost Navajo
police officer.
Your kids are still enrolled in a boarding school.
You buy your groceries at Bashas'.
You are on welfare and own more than two vehicles.
You dropped out of school and started a family at the age of 18.
You hated gambling until the casinos came.
Your chapter or school official is being investigated for misuse of
funds.
Your vehicle looks like something out of Star Wars.
Milk and ice cream give you the runs.
You have no butt.
You shop at a flea market for bargain clothing and furniture.
You are on a warrant for not appearing in court.
You drink coffee before you go to sleep.
You just received your fifth DWI, and you're still driving.
You car has more than two dents and a hole in the trunk where the keyhole
should be.
Your son's back pocket in located behind his knee.
You are having a never ending land dispute with your relatives.
You go to town on the first of the month on your grandparent's check.
You dress like Bruce Lee and watch his movies twice a day.
You take your family to a squaw dance so all of you can eat buffet.
Your car is held together by bailing wire.
You use expressions like "is it", "aaaay", "ober
thar", and "somehow".
The tires on your car don't match.
You owe money to at least four people.
You are sleeping with a married person or a co-worker.
You talk with a broken English.
You love to eat commodity cheese.
Your next door neighbor is a bootlegger.
Your favorite radio station is KTNN.
You're paying child support for someone else's child.
You have a JC Penny's catalog in your outhouse.
You yell BINGO in your sleep.
All your kid's name start with the first letter of your name or ends
with -ita.
Your car antenna is a clothes hanger.
Your wife and girlfriend once fought in the post office or police dept.
lobby.
You are missing teeth.
You own all twelve volumes of the Navajo Sundowners.
You run into lost family members at Bashas'.
Your personal checks bounce more than once.
Putting a big hickey on your wife's neck and giving her a black eye
is your way of telling her that you love her very much.
You only have liability coverage on your new car.
You are still driving on a suspended, or revoked driver license.
You drive 2 hours just to go to the movies.
You graduate from high school and they butcher a sheep in your honor.
Your favorite dessert is Cracker Jacks.
You have to cut a roll of paper towel in half because you ran out of
toilet tissue and the nearest store is 40 miles away.
You consider going more than 50 miles per hour, speeding.
You know at least one bootlegger.
The whole family hops in the truck just to pick up the mail.
You need a four wheel drive to pick up your medicine man.
